The Fortune Teller From Hell
by Invader Beaver and Moe
Summary: a hippie drops off a fortune teller machine at Zims housereview please


Invader Beaver I would like to thank Bluemoonlite for betating my story. Enjoy peers

Disclaimer I don't own "Invader Zim" Jhonen Vasquez does. I own the hippie man and two others. I don't own the "Twilight Zone Rod Sterling does.

Summary-A hippie drops off a Fortune Teller Machine that gives off the strangest readings.

The Fortune Teller From Hell

Chapter 1

You're entering another dimension, a dimension of horror (someone screams), a dimension of a crazy authors mind. Your next stop: my story zone.

Gir was watching "The Scary Monkey Show" when he heard a knock on the door. Since Zim dismantled the Robot Parents, it was his job to answer the door. He ran to the door and opened it there stood a Hippie looking terrified.

His eyes were bloodshot red and his clothes had dirt everywhere. "Look, man, this thing is freaking me out. Take it, Metal dude," the Hippie Man stuttered.

"Okey dokey, "Gir replied.

Ten minutes later Zim came up from his lab talking to himself. "Those giant man-eaten worms would have worked if they had teeth." Zim grumbled he was upset since his worm plan failed. His eyes suddenly locked on a Fortune Teller machine and the room started to feel hot like fire. "Gir, what is that horrible thing?" Zim asked with disgust.

"Hippie Man go to Pluto while ridding a hippo, "Gir said staring at the wall.

Zim smacked his forehead and walked over to find out what that horrible thing was. "Hmm, so I put this quarter in the slot and it tells me my fortune?" he said to himself and took the paper out of the machine and read it. "Ha, ha, ha," Ding dong! Still laughing, Zim answered the door and saw a human.

"Are you Zim?" a Man asked smiling.

"Yeah! Who are You?" Zim asked.

I'm-"

"Who Are You?" Zim interrupted.

"I'm Fred and you just one ten million dollars for visiting this planet," Fred said smiling.

"Why?" Zim asked and television people came in and started filming.

"You're on live TV where everyone can see you're an alien," Fred replied and he had an evil grin on his face and red pointy ears stuck out of his blond hair. "Hahahahahahahaha!" Fred evilly laughed.

Zim was creeped out and the room was encased in red smoke. "Computer, get rid of these intruders" yelled Zim, but they were already gone. Freaked out he reread the paper,"Fred will come and offer you a million dollars and exposed you on TV while turning out to be Satan."he said.(Coincidence no one can tell the great Zim his future, or so he thought.)

The room felt like a oven again and he had another urge to try out the machine. "Dib will come and tell you that he's giving up," he said out loud knowing that would never happen. "Ding dong" Zim slowly walked to the door and opened it to see Dib. "Ahhhhh, uh I mean, what do you want, Dibstink?" Zim hissed.

"Zim, chasing you is a waste of time. I give up, "Dib replied and he closed the door.

Feeling a little freaked out he saw Gir put a quarter in the machine. "Gir, give me that. I will have no more nonsense today, "Zim replied.

They watched TV all night much to Gir's delight. Zim turned off the television and decided to take a snooze. Just when he was falling asleep there was a crash and the sound of someone walking. "Gir, is that you?" he asked and saw that Gir was sleeping. "Dib, if this is a joke, you're in trouble," he threatened.

Seeing a shadow, his spider legs came out and he was ready to attack the intruder. "I have you now, Dibmonkey," he spat and he jumped in the kitchen landing on nothing the room was empty. "Hey! Who's there?" he asked hearing heavy breathing behind him.

"Nobody here, but me," a voice said.

"Come out and show yourself!" Zim yelled shining a flashlight around the room.

"I'm right here." The voice whispered tapping him on the shoulder.

Zim turned around there was nothing there and the battery died. Feeling angry he sat on the counter thinking. (Stop being stupid there's no one here) he thought and started walking to the living room when he was attacked from behind.

"Hi, little man, give me all your stuff," the voice said.

Zim knocked him off with his spider legs and saw that the intruder was a man. The man had blood and dirt on his face and a scar on his left arm. He reeked of liquor and death he looked insane and angry. "Get Out Of My House!" Zim yelled.

The gruff looking man laughed and picked Zim up by his legs. He pointed a knife at his throat, "Listen, whatever you are, I've killed, and friends, and their family. Now, unless you want to meet the same fate, tell me where the loot is," the man hissed.

"I don't have an loot," Zim replied feeling angry.

"Well, that's too bad for you," the man laughed, his brown eyes staring. "Looks like I'm going have to kill you. Hahahaha!" he laughed some more and Zim could feel the knife slicing his neck.

He wondered if he could die. His PAK could heal him unless this crazy man sliced his whole neck off. "Wait! The loot is in there! The machine has the loot!" Zim replied and the man dropped him on the floor making Zim land on his head.

"Heh heh this is great and well isn't this interesting." the man replied.

"What?" Zim asked rubbing his head.

"This paper says: A criminal will come into your house and almost chop your head off," the man said.

Zim started feeling stupid. If he read the paper, he could have been prepared.

"Ha! I'm going to try this Fortune Teller Machine out," he replied, placing a quarter in the slot. "Hey! That's mean!" he whined and his face started turning blue.

Zim stared in confusion and he walked over. "Hmm, you will die. Say goodbye?" Zim replied confused and he saw the crazy man turing around on the floor fidgeting in pain. His face swelled up like a big blue balloon, his whole body was inflating and the last word he said was goodbye until he popped.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zim yelled and grabbed Gir off the couch running to his lab. "Computer, tell me what a Fortune Teller Machine is, " he said holding Gir.

"Well, it was designed for fun, telling people what their fortune was. I'm bored," the Computer replied and Zim went back upstairs and put Gir on the couch.

Gir was awake and he put a potato in the slot and a piece of paper came out. "Gir no! Huh? The moment you read this Gir will explode because he's supposed to pay with a quarter not a potato?" Zim said confused and Gir exploded and bits of metal and salted nuts were everywhere. Zim feeling really freaked out placed another quarter in the machine. " Zombies will come and destroy your base. Oh no!" Zim yelled and zombies came in. Some went downstairs and ripped everything apart another zombie threw the toilet out the window. Zim watched in horror as his base was destroyed. The zombies left Zim in a pile of rubble that was his house.

Not knowing what to doe he ran down the street to Dib's house. Dib was sleeping when the doorbell rang. Sighing, he went downstairs and answered the door. "Zim, what are you doing? It's late, school's tomorrow," he groaned.

"School? Who cares? This is important! Something weird is going on, and since you surrendered to me you can help, " Zim said, and Dib gave him a confused look and slammed the door.

"Go home, Zim, I'm tired and hey, I never surrendered," Dib replied as he opened the door and Zim walked in.

"Yes you did I saw you." Zim argued.

"Whatever I'm going to bed." Dib groaned and he bumped into something. "What the heck?" Dib said and he turned on the light switch and there the Fortune Teller Machine was. "I don't remember this being here," Dib said confused.

"Ahhh! It followed me!" Zim squealed.

"Follwed you? It's not alive, Zim," Dib said yawing.

"Yes it is! In fact, that stupid machine sent zombies to destroy my house. And it made Gir explode," Zim said angrily.

"Sure it did, Zim, sure. I'm going to bed," Dib replied and he started walking away.

"That machine is evil! You can keep it!" Zim yelled and left weirdnest.

Dib woke up thinking about last night."Hey, Gaz, I had the weirdness-what the...?" Dib said, seeing the machine in the livingroom. "Never mind, yeesh. I wonder why Zim was so freaked out?" Dib said and he placed a quarter in the slot. "Hmm, your sister will become...queen of the underworld," Dib stated, felling confused then a giant hole came out of the ground along with Fred.

Fred went in the kitchen and proposed to Gaz who said yes. They walked to the hole, "Gaz, what are you doing?" Dib asked.

"Marring Fred, stupid, and you're not invited." She replied and jumped in the hole along with Fred.

Dib stared felling weird and he placed another quarter in the slot. "Your dad lied so he will die," Dib said and the room felt hot like fire. "Lied? For what? All he said was that we were going to Bloateys," Dib said and the phone rang. "Hello? Oh, hi dad. Oh, I understand. Bye," Dib said and hung up feeling upset that his dad lied again.

He was on the couch when the doorbell rang and he walked over. "Hello, you are you?" Dib asked.

"I'm sorry to say that your dad died in a car accident," a lady said and walked off. Bewildered, he placed another quarter in the slot and the paper said go to Zim's. Dib, feeling angry at Zim, walked over to his place.

Zim was sitting on the broked couch waching television in the desbris. Dib walked over, stared Zim straight in the eye and said, "Zim, what did you do?"

"Go away Dibstink, I'm watching the Bimpsons," Zim ordered looking like he didn't care that he was sitting in dirt.

"That machine, take it back! Your machine made my dad die and sister marry an underworld guy," Dib complained thinking what he just said was stupid.

"No. It wants you. So keep it," Zim ordered, eating poopcorn.

"No! I know you cursed the Fortune Teller, and your sitting in dirt," Dib replied.

"Yes, yes I am, now be gone with you," Zim ordered waving his hand.

"What happened here?" Dib asked.

"That wretched machine sent zombies to destroy my base," Zim growled stuffing more poopcorn in his face.

"Hmm, how did you get that machine?" Dib asked, thinking.

"Gir, something to do with a Hippie Man riding a hippo to Pluto," Zim replied.

"A Hippie? Let's find him," Dib said and Zim turned off the television he was watching static.

"Where would we find a hippie, Dibstink?" Zim asked standing up.

"At the Hippie Convention." Dib replied and they walked to the Hippie Convention. "Okay I'll ask him if he's the right guy and you ask him over ther," Dib said pointing.

"Fine, Dibstink." Zim huffed and they started asking the same question to everybody untill there was nobody left.

"I give up," Dib said sitting next to Zim.

"Pitiful l human, Zim never gives up." Zim replied.

"Then why give me that cursed machine?" Dib asked.

"Uh...because I'm Zim. I'm evil," Zim said.

"Hey! Psst! You two! Come over here," a voice said. "I'm the Hippie Man and I never went to Pluto. Anway, that machine is cursed and the only way to get rid of it is to let someone else have it." the Hippie Man replied.

"This is riduculous it's just a Fortune Teller Machine," Dib said.

"No, It's not, Little Bighead Man, that machine is cursed! Made by the devil himself, it's the Fortune Teller from Hell," the Hippie Man said an ran off and the boys walked to Zim's rubble.

"Well, now what?" Dib asked bored.

"I don't know and Ahhh!" Zim screamed.

"Yeesh! What is it now, and hey! How did that get here?" Dib said.

"It's from hell! Does the stupid machine need a reason?" Zim asked annoyed.

"No. Why don't we try it out one more time?" Dib said.

"I'll do it I'm Zim!" Zim replied and he placed a quarter in the slot and took the paper out. "Hmm, hey, Dib, it says someone you love will drag you away," Zim replied and his eyes widen when he saw a zombie women with long purple hair drag Dib away. Zim followed them to the cemetery were Dib was dragged underneath his mother's grave screaming.

Zim feeling scared backed up into the machine and he placed a quarter in the slot. Paling he ran and ended ip were he was running away from the beach. Panting, he stared at the waves and began laughing. Even though he knew he was going to die, he laughed.

Falling on the hot sand, laughing his head off and having his back turned, he never saw the smile. He never saw the giant wave that swept him away. He never saw the end.

Somewhere in space the Tallest were eating snacks asn the doorbell rang. The drone answered it and an irken ran in front of Purple. "Take it, dude, it's freaking me out, man!" the Hippie irken said and he ran off leaving a Fortune Teller Machine behind.

Review and you get invisible salted nuts.


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